Lorraine became a grandmother at 44. After grandparenting from a distance for almost 30 years, I’d say we can safely conclude she knows a thing or two about how to build a connection from a distance.
I’ve interviewed a lot of grandparents about what it takes to stay connected. I found myself hanging on her every word because Lorraine exemplifies that it is very possible to build strong bonds with your grandchildren from a distance that will last a lifetime.
How did Lorraine stay connected to her grandchild who lived in Norway, while she was on the west coast of Canada?
Let’s start with what she was up against:
- About 5000 miles between them.
- A language barrier. Her grandson didn’t speak English until he was in Grade 3.
- A time in history when we didn’t have video chat, otherwise known as the saving grace of long distance grandparents.
Lorraine was a grandparent before we had affordable long-distance calling, the ability to send photos and videos at the touch of a button or Amazon delivery in almost every country.
Between phone companies and Canada post, we kept them in business. We made it work the best we could.
But what specifically did she do?
First, she partnered with the local grandparents.
In our family, it has been said that Nicholas had the best of both worlds with so many people that loved him near and far. We’ve pulled everyone into the circle.
They didn’t celebrate Halloween in Norway but he had been to Canada twice for Halloween. I sent pumpkin seeds and the Grandpa there planted them and so they had pumpkins. I’d send costumes and all the other kids wanted to do it so they started Halloween in this village. To this day, he celebrates Halloween
And voila – she started Halloween in a small Norwegian village!
She also made a point of sharing her life with him – so he could feel part of it, from a distance.
We would send pictures of ourselves and our side of the family at Christmas, photo albums so he could see what was happening in Canada.
Lorraine has 4 grandchildren. She told me each relationship is different. I asked Lorraine:
What if you lose touch or feel disconnected from a grandchild?
Start small. Start with little things, it doesn’t have to be a huge project. Buy them a book and write a little note in it. I sent a book about animals and there was a camel in it and so I wrote a note about how I love camels and how I hope I get to ride one day. And then I did get to ride one in Morocco! And I could share that with him. He knew I loved camels. Let them know about the things you like.
This next part of Lorraine’s story gave me goosebumps and still, every time I read it, I get emotional:
10 years ago, I was diagnosed with leukemia. I called the other grandmother as I didn’t want to tell my grandson first. He was 19 and when he was told about it he said: ‘If Grandma’s sick, I’m going there’. He didn’t need to because I was fine, but he would have been on a plane to help me.
It sounds ever so cliché but, the truth is, where there’s a will there’s a way.
It takes planning, partnering, preparing and the willingness to get creative from a distance.
Lorraine is a beautiful example of how you can build strong bonds – and relationships that last a lifetime. Now she is starting again, because she became a great grandmother this year!
Here we go again with the great grandchild!
All I can think about is how lucky her great grandchild is to have a grandmother with the experience, the will and the determination to stay connected.
Lorraine just sent me the following update:
My grandson is having a little Halloween party on Saturday, for family members to celebrate my great granddaughter’s first Halloween. The tradition lives on!
Thank-you for sharing your story Lorraine – we all need a little inspiration to see what is possible for our future relationships. Especially now when millions of grandparents around the world cannot see their grandchildren in person. If you can do it – we can all do it.
