Anyone else feel like we all kind of slid into this new year with some pretty significant emotional bumps and bruises?
And some still in need of healing from last year?
Many of you were likely able to spend time with your grandchildren and adult children and I’m truly so happy for you. These visits sustain us and give us the moments we can draw on in between visits. I hope you took a million pics of your time together!
While for others, let’s be honest. The holidays turned out to be what my grandmother used to call a ‘lunch bag letdown’ (Side note: She used to say it to me when I was a child, and I had no idea what it meant. As an adult, I now use this line all the time!).
For some, visits and flights were cancelled or delayed, long-awaited gatherings didn’t go quite as planned, well thought out gifts were either not appreciated – or not acknowledged yet. All of this, alongside navigating tricky family relationships.
It can feel like this holiday period was more of an exercise in emotional survival than anything else.
Grandparenting is a gift but there are ups and downs
Grandparenting is like many other relationships. There are good times and also more challenging times – and we need to talk about both to be able to grandparent with intention from a distance.
The ups can be incredible.
Holding those little hands in yours. A special moment shared while working together on a new lego set or science kit. A grandchild in your lap, flipping the pages of a book.
Holding new grandbabies or watching in awe as your little grand reader reads to you.
But the downs, can be really tough.
Part of what is making long distance grandparenting harder right now is the uncertainty.
Many of you can’t say for sure when the next visit will happen.
So…what to do next?
Well, amidst uncertainty, let’s try and create some certainty and stability for your grandchildren and their parents.
Ideas for connecting with grandchildren to create certainty
Here are some practical suggestions to get you started:
- Send mail on the first or last day of each month and send a photo or video of you actually posting The anticipation this creates is an added bonus. The goal is consistency and certainty. Every month they receive a little something in their mailbox.
- Every Saturday morning send a text or video message to a grandchild. You can make it silly by sending a joke, tongue twister or asking them a Would You Rather Question. Or make it interactive by challenging them to do 10 jumping jacks, 5 wall push-ups, a yoga tree pose, etc. Be sure to include yourself doing these things to make it more fun for your grandchild.
For older grandchildren, think of your Saturday morning text as a way to offer up something positive you’ve noticed about them, words of encouragement or a story about mum or dad. This will likely make your own child smile – and of course grandchildren love to hear stories about their parents.
If you could use some certainty in your grandparenting life right about now, be sure to sign-up for my weekly newsletter, delivered every Thursday to your email inbox. Head to the bottom of this page to enter your email and sign-up!
My goal is to keep you inspired, to think in different ways about grandparent related topics and to make sure you know there are millions of other grandparents around the world doing this from a distance – and they feel the same way you might be feeling today.
Whether it’s post-holiday bliss or blues.
So…. in the coming months, watch for topics about the emotional complexities of grandparenting from a distance, ideas for connection through video chatting, snail mail and in-person visits – and also a fair bit of inspiration to keep trying.
Even when you aren’t getting much back.
Happy New Year to all of you and as always…
Happy Connecting!