September: A Time of Transition for Your Grandchildren – and Their Parents
September is a month of new beginnings for your grandchildren, full of excitement and transitions as they head back to school. But amidst all the hustle and bustle, it’s essential not to overlook the parents who are managing these changes. As Dr. Vivek Murthy, the U.S. Surgeon General, highlighted in a recent New York Times article, parents today are under immense pressure, often juggling work, home responsibilities, and their children’s needs.
Amidst the excitement and hustle of back-to-school season, it’s important not to forget the parents!
The Parent Perspective: A Season of Stress
For many parents, a return to school for your grandkids isn’t just about packing lunches and buying school supplies. It can also be a time of year when work demands ramp up, with companies pushing to make the most of the last quarter of the year. Deadlines loom, and the pressure to perform is high.
On top of that, parents are juggling the emotional and logistical challenges of getting kids ready for a new beginning, whether it’s their first day of daycare or their first day of college.
Studies show that this time of year can be particularly stressful for parents.
Dr. Murthy’s article sheds light on the significant stress parents are facing. He discusses how the weight of modern parenting, compounded by work obligations and societal expectations, is pushing many parents to their limits.
This aligns with a study conducted by The Harris Poll, which found that nearly 9 in 10 (87%) parents of children under 18 report that the back-to-school season causes them stress or anxiety. More than half (53%) even agree that it’s the most stressful time of the year.
As a parent myself, currently in the thick of getting two kids back to school, I can completely relate. Despite our best efforts to keep a routine, the summer rightfully includes late nights at the park with friends, lazy mornings, and more Nutella toast at bedtime than I care to admit.
So, a 7am start next week is going to be a hustle for us.
And I would say that relatively speaking, I am calm when they go back to school and welcome the routine – it’s just a transition that makes me feel a touch overwhelmed.
Why this matters for you as a grandparent
I’m sharing this because your connection with your grandchildren might feel a bit limited over the next few weeks. Parents and kids alike are adjusting to the novelty and demands of the new school year. If your calls or messages aren’t getting as much response as usual, it’s likely due to the overwhelm parents are experiencing.
But don’t worry—there are quiet, meaningful ways you can support both your grandchildren and their parents from a distance. While it might not feel like direct ‘connection,’ these actions count as consistent touchpoints that will be appreciated during this transitional time.
Supporting the parents from a distance
Start with the parents. A simple, encouraging message can go a long way. Let them know you’re thinking of them and that they don’t need to respond. You can show your support with a quick text with something like:
Thinking of you today as [grandchild’s name] embarks on a new adventure in daycare/grade 4/college…
Offering a few words of encouragement and acknowledging their efforts as parents can be a huge morale booster. If you’re looking for more ideas on what to say, check out this resource where I include some examples to get you started: Long Distance Grandparents: The Parents Are Your Most Important Partners
You could also send a small gift, like a $5 gift card to their favorite coffee shop, with a note suggesting they treat themselves to a peaceful, kid-free coffee. Or twenty dollars in an Uber Eats gift card so they can order themselves a healthy lunch, guilt free!
Lastly, let them know it’s okay to skip a pre-scheduled video chat if things get too hectic. Reassure them that you’re looking forward to catching up when the back-to-school dust settles.
Sometimes, supporting your adult children from a distance means giving them space to navigate this busy time.
It’s hard to not receive regular communication – and let’s be honest, this isn’t going to feel great for you. But for them, knowing you are there in the wings, cheering them on and not adding pressure, can feel incredibly supportive.
Cheering on your grandchildren
For your grandchildren, especially those who can text, consider being their grand cheerleader from afar. Sending a simple text highlighting things like what a good friend they are or simply telling them how lucky you feel to be their grandparent can be a powerful boost to their self-esteem.
Even if you don’t get a reply, trust that your words are meaningful and will resonate over time. Persistence is key!
Sending mail to touch base and let them know you are thinking of them is truly a grandparent superpower. There are few others who will take the time to write a note, address the envelope and actually send it!
Never underestimate how powerful it is to show up in their mailbox.
And if you want to take your snail mail to the next level, be sure to check out The LDG Ideas Club because each month I send you a printable pack with mail to send your grandchild, video chat games and conversation starters – it’s all backed by research about how to truly get to know children and to engage them through mail and virtual communication.
Final thoughts..and a chance for you to spend September learning too
By keeping these strategies in mind, you can maintain a strong connection with both your grandchildren and their parents, even during the busy transition of September. Your support, whether through a text, a small gift, or simply giving them space, can make a significant difference in their lives. Being present in these subtle, thoughtful ways, you’ll not only help them through this period but also strengthen your bond, no matter the distance.
And…..while they are busy with back to school, you can deepen your own learning with something called Grandparents Week.
It’s a free event but you do have to register. You can find out more about it here:
Grandparents Week Registration September 2024
Not only am I sharing all the latest and greatest about long distance grandparenting – no matter the age of your grandchildren, there are sessions about tons of topics that will be of interest including:
- Getting Along with The Parents of Your Grandchildren
- Proactive Legacy Grandparenting
- Active Grandparenting
- Using photos to connect with grandchildren
There are grandmas, grandpas and parents providing unique and current perspectives about what it takes to embrace and engage fully in grandparenting.
I’ve already signed up so I will see you there!
Note: If you choose to get the upgrade pass I might receive a small commission from GrandparentsAcademy.
That’s all for now! Happy Connecting!
Kerry
Founder
The Long Distance Grandparent