For many long distance grandparents, maintaining meaningful relationships with grandchildren can be filled with both loving and challenging moments – sometimes in the same hour!
Amid this emotional balancing act, one powerful tool often goes overlooked: gratitude.
Personally, I was a late comer to the value of gratitude as both a mindset and a practice.
But once I dug into the science, I realized there is some impressive research looking at how gratitude can impact our thoughts, mental health and relationships – for adults and children.
The beauty of gratitude is that it’s not tied to a specific holiday or location. While it is generally more discussed around Thanksgiving, gratitude rituals can be used as part of your connection with your grandchild any time of year.
In Part 1 of this blog, I explore why gratitude is so vital and how it can help you to nurture meaningful connections with your grandchildren.
In Part 2, I share how it can serve as a powerful coping tool for long distance grandparents.
Part 1: Why Gratitude Matters for Children
Children are naturally curious and observant, but their understanding of gratitude doesn’t always develop on its own. Research in developmental psychology tells us that gratitude is a learned skill, and when nurtured, it can profoundly shape a child’s emotional and social well-being. Nurturing gratitude in children can be done through role modeling, conversations, and activities that reinforce the value of thankfulness.
Gratitude Cultivates Positive Relationships and Boosts Mental Health
Gratitude helps children recognize the kindness and effort of others, fostering empathy and stronger connections. Adolescents who regularly expressed gratitude were happier, more optimistic, and were more satisfied with their school, family, community, friends and themselves. By encouraging gratitude in your grandchildren, you can help them appreciate the people who support them—including you.
Practicing gratitude can improve mood by increasing feelings of happiness and satisfaction. When children learn to focus on what they have rather than what they lack, they’re better equipped to navigate challenges. This mindset is critical for long distance relationships, where the absence of physical closeness can feel like a gap.
When you express gratitude to your grandchildren, it reinforces your bond. Whether you thank them for a thoughtful drawing, a story they shared, or simply for spending time with you on a call, you are teaching them the value of reciprocal appreciation.
How to Nurture Gratitude with Your Grandchildren
Gratitude isn’t just a feeling—it’s a habit that grows stronger with practice. Here are some ways you can nurture gratitude in your grandchildren:
Model Gratitude
Children learn by example and this is especially true when it comes to gratitude. Share moments of gratitude during your interactions:
– I’m so thankful we get to talk today—seeing your smile brightens my day.
– I really appreciate the time you took to draw that picture for me. It’s so special.
By verbalizing your gratitude, you demonstrate its importance and invite your grandchildren to notice moments they’re thankful for.
Share Stories of Gratitude
Tell your grandchildren stories from your life about moments when you felt especially thankful. These stories not only build a sense of family history but also highlight how gratitude can show up in everyday life.
Celebrate Gratitude Through Creative Projects
Work on shared projects that encourage gratitude, such as making thank-you cards for someone special, creating a photo collage of favorite memories, or writing a story together about a “superpower of thankfulness.”
The Ripple Effect of Gratitude
When you embed gratitude in your relationship with your grandchildren, you’re planting seeds that will grow in ways you may never fully see. Gratitude nurtures empathy, strengthens family bonds, and provides a foundation for emotional resilience.
For long distance grandparents, gratitude is more than just a feel-good idea—it’s a practical tool to navigate the joys and challenges of being a part of your grandchildren’s lives from afar. By embracing gratitude, you not only enrich your own experience but also leave a lasting legacy of thankfulness in the minds of your grandchildren.
Part 2: Using Gratitude as a Coping Tool for Long-Distance Grandparenting
As grandparents, it’s tempting to focus solely on how gratitude can benefit your grandchildren, but gratitude can be just as useful for you, especially in moments of uncertainty and the emotional ups and downs that are common and persistent for long distance grandparents.
When the distance feels overwhelming, gratitude can offer a way to center yourself and find joy in the relationship you share with your grandchildren. Here’s how to make gratitude a part of your own long distance grandparenting:
Keep a Gratitude Journal
Set aside time each week to reflect on what you’re grateful for as a grandparent. Write down moments that brought you joy, whether it’s a funny story your grandchild shared, a milestone they achieved, or simply the fact that you’re part of their lives.
Focus on What You Can Control
While it’s natural to wish for more time with your grandchildren, gratitude helps shift your focus to the present. Celebrate the ways you’re able to connect, such as video calls, letters, or small gifts sent by mail.
Practice Mindful Gratitude
Take a moment to savor the little things—a favorite photo, a keepsake your grandchild gave you, or the sound of their voice during a call. These small moments of appreciation can help counteract feelings of longing.
Express Your Gratitude Regularly
Reach out to your grandchildren’s parents to thank them for making time for your calls or for sharing updates about the kids. Not only does this strengthen your relationship with them, but it also sets a tone of gratitude throughout the family.
Using gratitude as a coping mechanism is only one way to address the grief. It’s also not meant to be a way of dismissing your grief or suggesting that you can ‘happy talk’ your way out of it. It is one tool in a varied toolbox to address the emotional challenges of long distance grandparenting.
I’m working on an in-depth guide, with practical strategies for coping with the grief of grandparenting from a distance, that should be ready in the next 2 weeks. Join the waitlist and I will let you know when it’s ready!
And finally, take a moment to celebrate the connection you’ve built. It’s a connection that, despite the miles, holds the power to bring you closer together—one moment of gratitude at a time.
