Many of you discovered The Long Distance Grandparent through my Grandchild Cheat Sheet – a simple but powerful tool to help you keep track of what your grandchildren love: the books they’re reading, the games they can’t stop playing, the shows or YouTubers they follow, and the little favorites that make up their world.
Whether you downloaded it today, last week, or three years ago, the most important step is not simply printing it or saving it on your desktop.
It’s using it!
Because when you intentionally track what matters to your grandchildren, you set yourself up for richer conversations, deeper understanding, and a more natural sense of closeness – no matter how far apart you live.
Anytime is a good time to be gathering these little details simply by paying attention. Actively listening during conversations, even when they are chaotic and tornado like!
There are always clues about what your grandchildren are into right now.
Notice what your grandchildren show you during a call or what’s on the bookshelf behind them. These small observations give you concrete jumping-off points for your next chat – whether in person or through a screen.
[If you would like the Cheat Sheet and don’t have it, you can find it by clicking here.]
Of course, asking the parents what your grandchildren are reading, playing, or talking about is a great habit to get into as well.
A Resource that Meets You Where You Are At
You may be thinking about the Cheat Sheet because you have a visit coming up – a holiday trip or a long-awaited family gathering.
Or maybe you won’t see your grandchildren for months and your relationship will be nurtured mostly through video chats.
Either way, knowing what they care about is more than remembering fun facts, it’s a window into their world.
Many grandparents tell me that one of the hardest parts of long-distance grandparenting is missing the day-to day. The daily rhythms, the tiny victories, the school-day dramas, the new favorite snacks or songs.
Regardless of how often you see your grandchildren, one truth remains: the more you understand what fills their days, the closer you feel – and the more meaningful your conversations become. Children feel valued when an adult notices the things that matter to them.
Your curiosity communicates care, and care builds trust.
That’s how strong relationships grow across miles.
Why Tracking Interests Matters
Adults connect in big, sweeping summaries: “How have you been?” “What’s new?” “What did you do this week?” But children don’t think or speak in summaries. They live inside the tiny details of their days – specific things.
What feels insignificant to an adult can be the emotional highlight – or heartbreak of a child’s entire day or week.
Think about how a four-year-old may talk endlessly about the sparkly unicorn sticker they got at preschool, the bug they rescued on the playground, or their utter refusal to drink from the red cup.
Because these tiny moments shape their world.
A nine-year-old may be consumed by a book series, a joke from a friend, or a Lego creation they’ve spent days perfecting.
Tweens’ inner worlds expand even further – following YouTubers, navigating shifting friendships, preparing for the school play, or mastering a favorite game.
Teenagers, on the other hand, often share less spontaneously, but their inner worlds are just as alive.
They might be listening to an album on repeat, studying for a difficult test, hanging out with a friend who matters deeply to them, or saving up for something they saw on TikTok. What they mention in passing is almost always a clue. Even when they’re quieter, they want the adults in their lives to pay attention, just not too loudly.
Tracking your grandchild’s interests isn’t about memorizing every detail. It’s about gaining insight and seeing what excites them, what worries them, how they spend their time, and who they spend it with.
One grandmother I work with follows her grandchild’s school on social media and checks the school website regularly. Spirit days, artwork, announcements, and special events become easy conversation starters. Staying intentionally informed shows you care enough to find out. And it’s easy to do a bit of googling to find this information.
What the Research Says
Research reinforces what many of you already instinctively know: when conversations focus on a child’s interests, it’s easier to keep them engaged and wanting to chat again.
When I first started The Long Distance Grandparent, I read a study by Forghani & Neustaedter (2014) about video chatting between grandparents and grandchildren.
The authors highlighted that child-centered conversations built around activities and everyday experiences that matter to the child, lead to greater engagement, livelier storytelling and a noticeable increase in children’s willingness to share and remain involved in video calls, especially when grandparents demonstrate genuine knowledge about the child’s world.
AARP’s 2024 survey findings about video chats echo this finding. Survey results focused on something called targeted curiosity – such as asking about a child’s favorite game, latest artwork, friends or a recent experience at school.
This led to more engaging dialogue and encouraged children to open up. In contrast, vague or generic questions often resulted in short or stalled conversations.
Targeted curiosity encourages children to share, reflect, and connect. In short: when you know your grandchildren’s world, they feel safe opening the door for you to enter it.
But of course, you need some pebbles of information first, and having your cheat sheet on hand or recently reviewed, can really help.
How to Make the Cheat Sheet Work for You
Before an in-person visit or video chat, take a moment to review what you know. Look at your notes about books, shows, games, sports, music, and the people in their world. When you begin a conversation with something specific, you’re starting from a place of familiarity instead of small talk.
For example, instead of How’s school?, try:
- Last time we talked, you mentioned your teacher wears silly socks every Friday. What were they this week?
- Did you go to that concert with Maeve? Did they play your favorite song?
- Are you still into Lego? What are you building now? Can you show me?
These questions let your grandchild know:
I didn’t just hear you. I remembered.
Video calls often feel more challenging, especially with younger children. But when you arrive prepared, connection becomes easier.
- Did you finish that cat puzzle you were working on?
- I remember you said you love cars. Can you show me your newest Hot Wheels car? Does it go faster than the blue one?
- I remembered you said you love math, and it made me curious – which math is the most fun right now – adding, subtracting, or something else?
You can even make the printed-out version of the Grandchild Cheat Sheet part of the fun. Hold it up and say:
Okay, this whole page is about YOU, and I need an update – are tacos still your favorite food?
Children love being the center of attention. Even many teenagers, though they may sigh dramatically, appreciate when someone pays attention to the things they care about.
Building a Habit
Your Cheat Sheet doesn’t need to be perfect or filled in every week. Small notes, gathered over time, create a meaningful record of your grandchild’s world.
Just store it somewhere convenient but also somewhere you will see it.
It could be in a special folder you keep all information related to your grandparenting or pinned on your fridge so you can grab it quickly before a video chat.
You could also keep an extra copy in your suitcase so you don’t forget to bring it and update it during your next visit. In fact, I recommend printing out a few copies at a time so you always one on hand.
Consistency is what matters. Reviewing it before calls or visits can shift your time together, moving it from pleasant to personal and from generic to child-centered and meaningful.
A “Superpower Question” to Discover Their Interests
In the Grandchild Cheat Sheet download, I share several questions to help you learn about your grandchild’s daily world — what they’re thinking about, working on, and feeling proud of.
Here’s one more powerful (and fun!) question you can add. It works for any age and feels like a game instead of an interrogation:
“If you could choose only one [insert option below] for the rest of the day/week/month/year… what would you pick?”
Possible categories:
• a game to play
• a toy to use
• a food to eat / drink to drink
• a show or YouTuber to watch
• a song to listen to
• a sport to play or watch
Just mix and match categories depending on the child.
- For younger kids, choose shorter time periods (like today or this afternoon) and stick to games, toys, and shows.
- For older kids, stretch the timeframe and add YouTubers, music artists, or sports.
And here’s the important part:
If you write down their answers, you can check in again later to see if anything has changed.
It’s a simple, meaningful way to track their shifting interests – and show them you remember.
The Big Picture
Whether you’re preparing for an upcoming visit or settling in for a season of video chats, the goal is simple:
Know their world. Use that knowledge to spark connection. Make your time together more meaningful.
You don’t need to remember every detail or do this perfectly. What matters is intentionality. Show up curious, listen closely, and pay attention to the things that matter to them.
Your Cheat Sheet is a small tool with enormous potential. When used consistently, it helps bridge the miles, build trust, and strengthen relationships in ways that last. Because connection isn’t a grand gesture. It’s the steady accumulation of small, loving choices. Connection grows in the little moments you choose on purpose.
Happy Connecting!
Kerry
Founder
The Long Distance Grandparent
