You might think this idea only works if you’ve just seen your grandchild in person. The truth is, it strengthens your relationship whether your last visit was yesterday, six months ago, or the reality for many of you, on a screen.
For long-distance grandparents, this simple ritual can become a lighthouse of connection.
A Simple Connection Ritual to Try
Send your grandchild a short handwritten thank-you note about the last time you spent time together—whether it was in person or virtually.
It doesn’t need to be long or poetic. A few heartfelt lines on a postcard or notecard will do the trick!
What matters is that it lets your grandchild know their time with you made a difference.
In a world where messages blink in and vanish, a handwritten note feels intentional. It says:
“I remember you. I cared. You matter.”
How to Make Your Note Special
Think of one moment you truly loved and put it into words. Refer to something specific: “I loved when you…” is far more meaningful than “It was nice seeing you.”
Or, focus on one thing you noticed about them during your time together.
Examples You Could Write
- “I’m still smiling about the dance you showed me on our call.”
- “My favourite part of our time together was when we made pancakes and made faces on them!”
- “I loved hearing your laugh when we played that game—it made my whole day.”
- “I can’t believe how much you know about dinosaurs/coding/dance/baseball these days!”
- “I’m so proud of you for how kind/curious/brave you were when…”
Adapting for Different Ages
Teens: Use language such as “I admired how you…” or “I’m proud of how you handled…” to respect their growing maturity.
Babies/Toddlers: Use simple language and mention sound or movement: “Your giggle when I did the silly face was my favourite part.”
At this stage, the note may be more for the parents, but it sets the foundation for a lifelong ritual. Writing to newborns is meaningful too (more on this soon!).
When to Send Your Note
This works beautifully for:
- A recent in-person visit
- A visit from months ago
- A video chat or phone call
Memories don’t have an expiry date, and children love when an adult remembers something special they did.
Why This Tiny Gesture Matters
Whether your grandchild is a baby, a school-ager, or a teenager, a thank-you note sends a powerful message:
“Our relationship matters, and I love spending time with you.”
Beyond being a feel-good moment, this ritual is rooted in research that suggest it can strengthen family connection in a variety of ways.
- Gratitude Boosts Wellbeing and Relationships
Studies by Dr. Robert Emmons, a leading researcher on gratitude, show that expressing and receiving appreciation improves wellbeing, increases happiness, and strengthens relationships—for both the giver and the receiver.
A short thank-you note helps your grandchild experience and learn the power of gratitude in a natural, relational way.
When your note says, “thank you for spending time with me,” it’s not just polite—it’s emotionally meaningful. It models gratitude for your grandchild and shows them they are valued. Over time, these small acts build a foundation of trust and belonging.
- Revisiting Family Memories Builds Identity
Researchers who study family storytelling, such as Dr. Robyn Fivush and her team at Emory University, have found that children who hear and revisit family stories develop stronger self-esteem, resilience, and a deeper sense of belonging.
Your note is more than a thank-you—it’s a tiny piece of your family story, written down for them to return to again and again.
It acts as a mini story in the making: it reminds them of a time you were together, reflects your memory of them, and becomes part of the narrative of you and them.
Over the years, those notes accumulate into a tangible collection of shared history.
Family stories are especially important for long-distance grandparents. When I created The Long Distance Grandparent Ideas Club, I made the first month all about using family stories to nurture meaningful relationships in fun and engaging ways. It is that important!
If Snail Mail Isn’t Reliable
Some of us know the frustration of mail that never arrives (we experienced this when living in Dubai). If sending mail is tricky, try one of these options:
- Email your note and ask a parent to print it and pop it into an envelope for your grandchild to open.
- During a visit, leave a few sealed envelopes behind with the parents to drip out to them over time after you leave. This requires some planning, but don’t overthink it. All you really need is a few envelopes and paper!
You could hide a few of these around the houseyou’re your grandchild (or the parents!) to find. Sometimes the act of discovering the note becomes part of the magic.
Building Long-Term Bonds
The heart of this ritual is simple: children thrive when they feel remembered, appreciated, and important. Your note becomes a tangible reminder that they matter.
Over time, these reminders become threads in the ongoing story of your relationship.
By practicing gratitude and engaging in storytelling, two research-supported pathways, you are giving your grandchild something far beyond the moment: belonging, identity, and emotional connection.
Over the years, the collection of notes and memories you create sends a strong message: your grandchild is not just a visitor, but a cherished participant in your family story.
When they look back, as teens or adults, they’ll see evidence of your consistent love, attention, and memory. That matters.
Happy Connecting!
Kerry
