The mailbox should be renamed the GRANDbox because chances are you are one of the only people to show up there for your grandchildren.
When the US Postal Service started shipping parcels over 4 pounds in 1913, guess what prompted the first known case of a human being mailed as a parcel?
Well, a trip to a grandmother’s house of course!
Apparently, it was about 1 mile away and cost 15 cents in stamps. Rest assured the 10-pound baby was insured and successfully delivered by the mailman.
It appears that families living at a distance have always been more than a tad innovative and entrepreneurial!
This mode of grand travel didn’t last long though. It was banned in 1914 when the postmaster found out about another grandchild who was mailed to her grandparents’ house – this time 73 miles away by Railway Mail train.
So, while long distance grandparents are now more likely to be using airmiles rather than stamps to facilitate in-person visits, the use of snail mail remains essential for long distance grandparents.
Why is snail mail such a special gift for your grandchild ?
The ease of emailing and texting to communicate with far away family means that letters and snail mail have become less common.
In 2021, there were an estimated 319.6 billion e-mails sent and received daily around the world.
But much like the appeal of anything vintage, actual mail – what my grandfather called real mail – is unique, rare, and just about everyone I know, kids and adults alike, love to receive it!
And this means you can become known for your epic, fun and meaningful snail mail.
The mailbox is the powerhouse of long distance grandparenting
Snail Mail is the powerhouse of the LDG because:
- It’s a touchpoint with your grandchild that does not require scheduling time.
- It does not have to include parent participation.
- It’s something you can do consistently.
So overall, it’s a way to build trust with your grandchild, to let them know you are ‘there’ for them and that you care about them and want to know them.
But how can you up the connection factor and make your mail as fun and meaningful as possible?
There are hundreds of ways to do this – but let’s start with 5 top tips for making your mail more fun and meaningful.
1. Envelope Toppers
If you are going to take the time to send mail to your grandchild, we want to use all real estate available – and this includes the envelope.
The envelope is an often-overlooked part of snail mail correspondence.
But it’s a chance to surprise and delight your grandchild, to stand out and add a bit of extra Hey, I know what you like and I love you kind of things to the mail.
In The Long Distance Grandparent Society, grandparents receive monthly mail to send to grandchildren that is based on connection research. But I also create what I call envelope toppers for them.
These are things to add to envelopes that pack a connection punch such as encouraging words ( See: 30 Positive Things to Say, Write, Email or Text Your Grandchild from a Distance)
Tell them one thing you love about them, or one reason you are proud of them or add a joke they can tell their friends – but on the envelope!
Second, you can make the envelope stand out by using bumpy, puffy stickers or scratch and sniff stickers. Even your college aged grandchild who is obsessed with dogs will appreciate an envelope covered in cute dog stickers (with a few inside too for their own use).
Third, write a short acrostic poem on the envelope using their first or last name.
2. Use pictures to write to young grandchildren.
I always encourage grandparents to draw pictures for grandchildren. Afterall, this is how little ones communicate from the time they can hold a crayon or paint brush.
So get yourself some crayons and draw a picture of you at the park together. You don’t have to be Picasso – stick people going down a slide is all that’s needed (even I can draw that and that’s saying something!).
But you can also use pictures to write short letters to younger grands.
Write things like… You make me feel so happy, but instead of writing the word happy, draw a happy face.
Or….You are a star in my eyes but replace star and eyes with a picture of a star and eyes.
This is a neat way to show your grands they can read letters from you!
3. For early readers, write in a way that means they can read at least some of the letter by themselves.
You can make your letters more readable by:
- Using short sentences.
- Not writing in cursive. Instead print to increase the chance your grandchild will be able to read some of the words themselves.
- Using words they are more likely to be able to read and are learning in school. There are lots of reading lists by grade level you can find online. Here is a great list from Reading Rockets for grades 1 to 4.
4. Write a letter to someone else – together on video chat
Meet your grandchild on a video chat with the plan to write a letter to someone else. It could be a cousin that you both write to, an aunt or uncle or even a thank-you note to a parent.
You can also make a service project out of it and suggest you write a letter to someone you don’t know to cheer them up.
An easy way to do this is through one of my favorite organizations, a not-for-profit called Love for our Elders.
This company was started because of a special relationship with a grandpa that set the Founder, Jacob Cramer off on a mission to fight loneliness with love through having people write to older adults who are socially isolated and have requested letters.
Jacob and his team have reached over 250,000 older adults with letters written by people of all ages, including lots of kids.
It’s such a beautiful initiative – and one that you can partner on with a grandchild. Taking on a project like this together is a wonderful way to connect – and this one can be done together from a distance.
Before your chat, send your grandchild some fun writing materials like stickers, note paper and markers. Get some for yourself and meet on a video chat to spread love together.
Love for our Elders provides descriptions of people you can write to, including what they like and the mailing address so you can pop your letters in the mail.
Talk about a win-win!
You get to share a special moment with your grandchild, including the opportunity to talk about why you are doing this – and the result is widening someone else’s world who needs extra love right now.
Of course, you can do this together during an in-person visit with your grandchildren too.
Before you do it, make sure you have some suggestions about what they can write in case they can’t think of anything on the spot.
5. Do some GRAND googling
For any aged grandchild, whether they are 5 or 15, do some research about what they are into right now.
Every kid likes something.
If they are 2 and love ladybugs, send a cute photo of a ladybug with a silly story about a ladybug visitor.
If they are 22 and love dogs, send a fun fact about dogs.
If they are 8 and do Parkour or play a sport or Minecraft, look up a world record related to the topic of interest and include it in the letter. If your teenaged granddaughter has a basketball final coming up at school, send a note about the World Record Holder for most free throws in a minute.
This works for grandchildren of any age – try reaching out to your teenage grandson who is obsessed with video games with some info that might surprise him related to gaming Guinness World Records.
Doing a bit of research and using it in your letters lets them know you are paying attention and you are interested in what they are interested in.
Some final tips about writing letters to grandchildren
Make it a connection habit
On your end, if sending mail hasn’t been your strong suit, try making it into a connection habit.
Commit to sending something on a certain day each month or every second month to get you started.
If you send mail each month on the same day, they will get it roughly around the same time each month.
This is another way to say I’m reliable and I’m a consistent person in your life.
Mail can take an impossibly long time to get to a different continent but…. send it anyway! Once you get into the habit of sending mail, you can be a regular addition to the postbox no matter where they live or how long it takes to get there.
This will be a familiar suggestion if you have searched for ways to get your grandchild to write back: include an addressed envelope with a stamp.
But if they live in a different country, put ‘pick up stamps’ on your list of things to do when you visit them. Having the stamps needed to be able to send you mail can be a game changer. And you can make sure they have the right postage by including a pre-addressed and stamped envelope to them. This will also increase the chance of getting mail back!
Watch this space because I will be releasing some write me back letter templates for grandchildren of all ages soon.
In the meantime, have some fun and become known for your stand-out GRAND mail!
Happy Connecting!